1. Thou shalt not be named John, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
2. Thou shalt not show romantic affection for one of the same gender, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
3. Garfunkel shall only give one warning, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
4. Thou may be backhanded if thou shall break any Law of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
5.
6. Thou shall balance the use of technology in thy life, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
7. Traps are gay, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
8. Thou shalt not “meme”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
9. Thou shalt not be an annoyance to thy fellow Garfunkians, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
10. Thou shall not respect w*men that aren’t Paw Wah, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
11. Thou shall call upon Garfunkel by backhanding thy palm, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
12. Thou shall thank Garfunkel for thy sustenance, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
13. Cultures are not equal in greatness, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
14. Thou shall pray for Garfunkel at least once every 10 days, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
15. Thou shalt not drink under the age of twenty-one, unless thou is a Chad for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
16. Thou shall only be allowed to drink underaged if thou are in the presence of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
17. Thou shalt not be named “Alex Ott” for it sounds like “Alex Thot”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
18. Thou shall be excused from any law, if the High Council shall unanimously vote to excuse it, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
19. Thou shall use “Times New Roman” in religious documents, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
20. Thou shall obey Garfunkel’s Laws above all other laws, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
21. Thou shall neither show affection to a Jock, nor a Thot, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
22. Thou shall take plastic spoons, and napkins, for they are sacred, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
23. Garfunkel is the only one allowed to add, or remove privilege points, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
24. Only the weak do not understand the Laws of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
25. Thou shalt not communicate with the Excommunicated, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
26. Thou shall seek to learn the holy language, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
27.
28. Thou shalt not use filters, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
29. Thou shalt not use Snapchat, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
30. Thou shall respect Tobuscus, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
31. Thou shalt not disrespect Minecraft hunger games, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
32. Roblox is acceptable, when played in moderation, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
33. Thou shalt not claim that if the teacher is not back in fifteen minutes thy can leave unironically, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
34. Thou shall not mention the rules of the internet, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
35. Thou shall avoid double line spacing, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
36. Thou shalt always pick pirates in Zeppelin Wars, unless thou is planning to sabotage, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
37. Thou shalt not have false idols, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
38. To avoid a bloody keyboard, Insert Kleenex in 2 da Nostrillzz, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
39. VHS is a holy format, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
40. Thou shall not be a furry, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
41. Thou shall defend the faith, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
42. Thou shall not mock Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
43.
44. Thou shall spread the faith, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
45. Thou shall know that dried fruit is still fruit, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
46. The Star Wars prequels are on par with the original trilogy, and are superior to the Disney releases, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
47. Thou shall know that nobody buys 47 bananas, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
48. Thou shall remember the sixth day of the Month of Garfunkel for it is Independence Day, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
49. Thou shall be liberated under Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
50. Garfunkia shall be independent, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
51. Garfunkel is epic, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
52. Thou shalt not always Autistic Screech to Garfunkel at 6:02 pm, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
53. Thou shall not impede on one’s body’s natural growth, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
54. Joshcord, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
55. Thou shall not complain about the pronunciation of Kansas and Arkansas.
56. Thou shall not share an opinion with Emerson Brophy, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
57. Thou shalt not use Garfunkel’s name in vain, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
58. Thou shall show no respect to Kelsey, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
59. Thou shall not use thug vocabulary, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
60. Thou shall love Garfunkel with all of thy heart, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
61. Thou shall give 10% of all goods produced by oneself to the High Council in order to remain under the protection of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
62. Thou shall not forgive Roblox for banning NoMonkeyThisMahPiggy, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
63. Thou shall not berate a man for liking pink, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
64. A man having female tendencies is not necessarily faggotry, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
65. Thou may use plastic spoons as currency, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
66. Thou shall appreciate the nature of Earth that Garfunkel hath created, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
67. Thou shall only change the Laws for the better, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
68. Thou shall know when it’s time to stop, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
69. Thou shalt not love this number, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
70. Thou shall obey Garfunkel above all else, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
71. Thou shall shall, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
72. Thou shalt not steal another man’s money, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
73. Thou shalt not be a feminist, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
74. Human-animal hybrids are a disgusting concept, which is against the teachings of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
75. Thou shall not use ‘big words’ in order to sound smart or confuse thy opponent, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
76. Thou shall have the courage to do the right thing, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
77. Thou shall end every law with “for that is the Law of Garfunkel.” for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
78. Thou shall request for something to be no homo by saying “No homo.” if Garfunkel accepts the request, thou will be excused, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
79. Correct grammar is not necessary, so long as thou are able to get thy message across, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
80. Thou shall not blindly follow the masses, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
81. Thou shalt not be a weeaboo, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
82. Thou shall kiss a thot, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
83. Ignore Law 82, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
84. Thou shall wait two seconds before taking a sip from the water fountain, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
85. Thou shalt not bite thy pencils, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
86. Thou shall meditate and clear thy thoughts every sabbath morning, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
87. Thou shall not use social media, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
88. Thou shall love thy fellow Garfunkian, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
89. Thou shalt not lick, eat, or digest currency, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
90. Thou shalt not break currency, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
91. Thou shall know that Terry Davis did 9/11 for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
92. Thou shalt not spit on the ground, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
93. Thou shalt not steal from McDonald’s, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
94. Thou shalt not question the sovereignty of the Garfunkia, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
95. The High Council shall be allowed to permanently excommunicate, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
96. Thou shalt not call dogs “doggos” for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
97. Thou shalt not make ‘relatable’ memes, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
98.
99. Thou shall be sent to the rice fields if thou lacks discipline and repeatedly breaks at least one of the Eleven Laws of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
100. A Prince is allowed to backhand another Prince if he breaks a Law of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
101. Thou shalt not read books with “101” as a suffix, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
102. Thou shall claim they are “Garfunkian” not American, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
103. Thou shall view Buddhism not as a separate religion, but as complementary to the Garfunkian faith, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
104. The High Council is the supreme vessel of Garfunkel’s will, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
105. Futa is gay, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
106. Thou shalt not need to put both toilet seat lids up when going pee, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
107. Church shall begin at 0:00 and shall continue after sunrise, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
108. Thou shalt not associate with the excommunicated, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
109. Thou shalt not brag, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
110. Thou shalt not disrespect pocket radios, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
111. Thou shall recognize the month of Garfunkel as Garfunkia Pride Month, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
112. Thou shall use original comebacks, for that is a Law of Garfunkel.
113. Thou shalt not be politically correct, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
114. Girls who play go are an instant turn on, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
115. Thou shall report homos for excommunication, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
116. Thou shall not argue using a straw man, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
117. Thou shall report thots for excommunication, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
118. Thou shall report jocks for excommunication, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
119. Thou shall report illegal immigrants to the High Council for backhanding, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
120. Thou shalt not make Anglicized covers of songs not in English, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
121. If thou is well off and thou shall not pay thy tithe, thou shall be sent to the rice fields, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
122. Thou shalt not be named Brody, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
123. Thou shalt not backhand thy palms if thou are not a Garfunkian, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
124. Thou shalt not quote nor sing Hamilton, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
125. Thou shall not eat Turkey Buzzard meat, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
126. Turkey Buzzards are holy animals, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
127. Thou shalt not kill other follower’s offspring, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
128. Thou shall not abuse thy child, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
129. Thou shall ask Garfunkel for permission to have offspring, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
130. Ignore law 129 if thou had an offspring during one of Garfunkel’s parties, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
131. Thou shall be exiled from Garfunkia if the High Council deems so, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
132. Thou shall not state something is fact without substantial evidence, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
133. There shall only be six Princes of Garfunkia, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
134. Turkey Buzzards are holy animals, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
135. Thou shalt take it upon thyself to add to the Laws of Garfunkel until there are at least one thousand, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
136. Thou shall abstain from any heavy physical labor on the Sabbath, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
137. Thou shall not be a parasite, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
138. Thou shall not philosophise in the dark matters of nihilism, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
139. Thou shall know that Hitler did nothing wrong, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
140. Non-transparent Joe Biden is the only acceptable form of Joe Biden, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
141. Baths are acceptable forms of cleaning thyself and thou shall not shame thy fellow man for taking one, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
142. Thou shall ignore law 130 if thou had an offspring during a Garfunkel party he already gave permission, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
143. Any non-black individual is white, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
144. Thou shalt not be an uncultured swine, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
145. Thou shall not blame older generations for all of thy problems, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
146. Thou shall respect Chad Broseph Thundercock, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
147.
148. Thou shall acknowledge Chad Broseph Thundercock to be king of the frat boys, for that is the of Garfunkel.
149. Thou shall acknowledge that Chad Broseph Thundercock is the frattiest frat boy, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
150. Thou shall not lie to Garfunkians, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
151. Monks shall be held to a higher standard to follow the Laws of Garfunkel than the average Garfunkian, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
152. Monks shall remain level headed, not showing any emotion other than serenity in Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
153. For someone permanently excommunicated or deemed an enemy of the Church, becoming a Monk for a year is the only way to join the Church, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
154. Monks shall not masturbate, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
155. Thou shalt not pull a “LEGG”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
156. Thou shalt not speak of Alexander Hamilton, except in reference to this law.
157. Thou shall remember L63-GYε for that is the war of the bronies, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
158. Anyone shall have the ability to become a Monk, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
159. Thou shall know that George W. Bush is the best president, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
160. Thou shall not exploit loopholes in the Laws of Garfunkel.
161. Men shalt not worship muscles, for that is worshiping a male body, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
162. Thou shall not claim Paw Wah is from Thailand, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
163. Thou shall use chivalry when talking to ladies, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
164. Thou shall hold the door open for the ladies, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
165. Thou shall be hooked on the brothers, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
166. Thou shall read all of the Garfunkian literature, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
167. Thou shalt not claim Garfunkian territories, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
168. Thou shall shall, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
169. Thou shall not discuss Paw Wah bra size, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
170. Thou shalt not disrespect the authority of the church, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
171. Thou shalt not worship idols, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
172. Thou shalt not kill, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
173. Thou shalt not steal, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
174. Thou shall not ridicule others for small imperfections, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
175. Thou shall wait an extra three seconds to drink from the water fountain if it has been used by a non-Garfunkian, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
176. Henry shit fetish??!!!???, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
177. Thou shall hold no respect for the public education system, and shall seek to undermine it when given the opportunity, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
178. Haikus are the most acceptable poem format, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
179. Thou shall recognize that animated cartoons dubbed by 4kidz are not considered anime, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
180. Thou shall hate all dubbed films and television, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
181. Thou shalt not fall for traps, for that is the Law of Garfunkel
182. Thou shall use a trap card on traps, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
183. Thou shall recognize Bakugan is the best card game, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
184. Thou shalt always capitalize proper nouns, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
185. Thou shalt always use the correct your/you’re, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
186. , for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
187. Thou shall not make Paw Wah rule 34, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
188. Thou shall not use off-brand legos, for that is the Law of Garfunkel
189. Thou shall not engage in sexual acts on the Sabbath, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
190. Thou shall not speak of any meme Dakota has spoken of, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
191. Thou shall respect the anonymous camel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
192. Thou shall not sleep on the end of the bed, for that is the Law of Garfunkel
193. Thou shalt not use sticky keys, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
194. Thou shalt not let thy feet poke out of the blanket, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
195. If thou are depressed, thou shall seek an official’s help, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
196. Thou shall watch “The Tale of Despereaux” at least once a year, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
197. Thou shall know the difference between a trumpet and a trombone, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
198. Thou shall not start an Instagram live for fun, for that is the Law of Garfunkel
199. Thou shall respect Chinese monks, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
200. Thou shall not watch any Power Rangers™ made after 2015.
201. Thou shall have watched all of the Scooby-Doo live-action movies, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
202. Thou shall commemorate Afghanistan as Garfunkia’s first ally, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
203. Thou shall not find babies in bags and boxes in Kenya, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
204. Thou shall not commit “accidentally shooting down a Russian military plane” for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
205. Thou shall not trespass, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
206. Thou shalt always use proper stroke order when writing kanji, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
207. Thou shalt not disrespect all-state concert band players, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
208. Thou shall enjoy uncrustables, as they are the best sandwiches, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
209. Thou shall not abide by Mrs. Frobase’s will, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
210. Thou shall know that great minds think alike, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
211. The High Council shall be allowed to make a constitution to organize Garfunkia, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
212. Thou shall have read at least one Diary of a Wimpy Kid™ book, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
213. Thou shall appreciate bungee chairs, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
214. The High Council shall meet every Sabbath, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
215. Thou shalt recognize that Super Smash Bros. Melee™ is the best game in the Super Smash Bros.™ series, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
216. Thou shall now refer to Drew Durnil as Cancer, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
217. Drew Durnil gay, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
218. Thou shall refer Ian Dains as Dr. Dains when addressing him formally, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
219. Thou shalt not be grody, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
220. Thou shall pit ants against each other, for that is the Law of Garfunkel
221. Thou shall not to talk too much about musical instruments, for that is the Law of Garfunkel
222. Thou shall know that insects are in fact animals, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
223. Thou shall not eat Wendy’s chicken nuggets, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
224. Thou shall not acknowledge Instagram’s existence, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
225. Thou shall not read YouTube comments for the sake of thine own sanity, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
226. Thou shall acknowledge that there is no separation between church and state in Garfunkia, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
227. Thou shalt treat excommunicated persons with the highest disregard, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
228. Thou shall acknowledge Bray Bray as a betrayer of Garfunkia and its people, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
229. Thou shall be appointed a maiden name thou shall be called when thou join the church, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
240. Thou shall not reveal what law 186 is about, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
241. Thou shall attend Church every Sabbath, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
242. Thou shall not obstruct a court’s decision, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
243. Thou shall not be toxic to Garfunkians, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
244. Thou shall not punish without a fair and just trial, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
245. Thou shall not purposely delay the court, unless allowed by the High Council, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
246. Thou shall not nitpick, or be a smart alec, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
247. Thou shall not be charged with the same crime more than once unless thou shall break the High Council’s punishment or repeat thine offense, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
248. Thou shall not place thineself above thy fellow Garfunkian, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
249. Thou shall show all Garfunkians respect, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
250. Thou shall not be overly particular in regards to grammar or spelling.
251. Thou shall celebrate and bare gifts during the Week of Paw Wah, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
252. Thou shall follow all Garfunkian Laws even when outside of the Garfunkian controlled territory, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
253. Thou shall not forgive Roblox for removing the Pokemon-themed games, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
254. Pokemon shall not be excluded from being called an anime, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
255. Thou shall live life the way Garfunkel intended, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
256. Thou shall know that everything Garfunkel does is for a reason, even when it might not seem so at first, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
257. The court shall have the ability to interpret the Laws within reason, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
259. Everyone is blood-related to Garfunkel one way or another, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
260. Thou shall follow the Laws of Garfunkel to the best of thine ability, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
261. Thou shall not lie to the High Council, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
262. The excommunicated shall not talk to Garfunkians, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
263. The healthy and able shall fast during the last 3 days of the Month of Repentance, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
264. Thou shall only be a trap to catfish people, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
265. Josh Hawley shall be the senator for Missouri, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
266. Josh Hawley is the Golden Boy, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
267. Thou shall not nut during the Month of Repentance, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
268. Thou shalt not observe daylight saving time, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
269. Thou shall use the Garfunkian calendar, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
270. Cupcakes are the worst kind of dessert, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
271. The first day of the Month of Garfunkel is the holiest of days and shall be celebrated with festivals and games until the sixth day of the month of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
272. Thou shall prefer Bros before hoes, and hurls before girls, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
273. If a 274. Thou
shalt acknowledge that quwen is the best, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 275. The Grand
Prince shall only be allowed to excommunicate another Garfunkian if said
Garfunkian breaks a major Law of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 276. Debb
Frobb is gay, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 277.
Garfunkel’s image given on G1-GYε is a holy artifact, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 278. Thou
shalt not use voice changers, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 279. Thou
shall not type English comments on videos that are not in English, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 280. Thou
shall not use romaji, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 281. Thou
shalt not “Reddit”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 282. Thou
shall not post Loud House hentai, unless thou are Ian or Zach, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 283. Thou
shall not ridicule Ian for posting Loud House hentai, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 284. Thou
shall recognize Doug Walker as the funniest man alive, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 285. Thou
shall recognize that this: is not
funny, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 286. Thou
shall not talk about penis size in Gangweed, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 287. Thou
shall recognize Gangweed as a racist heaven, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 288. Thou
shall not be BLM, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 289. Thou
shall not participate in faggotry, ironic or otherwise, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 290. Thou
shall not be a woke mask wearer, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 291. 292. 293. Thou
shall not mention the opposite color of white, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 294. Thou
shall only use impact font for memes, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 295. Thou
shall not be Jace, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 296. 297. E.
Pennington’s use of the word Yahweh was retarded, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 298. I
love my daddy, my superhero, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 299. Greta
Thunberg sounds, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 300.
Thou shall not be wholesome, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 301. Thou
shall not play or speak of Among Us or Fall Guys, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 302. Thou
shall have the utmost of respect for the office of custodian, for they are
humble, hardworking men, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 303. The
military of Garfunkia shall not recruit by means
of conscription, only by the means of volunteering or mercenaries, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 304. Thou
shalt remember the back left table in Honors Geometry, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 305. Thou
shall not play Garry’s Mod, unless thou is trolling Star Wars RP servers, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 306. Thou
shall recognize that Curb your Enthusiasm is as good as Seinfeld, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 307. Thou
shall recognize that Jesse is the same person as Kramer, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 308. When
one contemplates an action, thou shall ask thineself if said action is niggerlicious,
or divine intellect, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 309. Adobe
shall not be forgiven to disabling flash, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 310. Flash
games are infinitely superior to html5 and javascript games and are the holy
format for interactive content on the internet, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 311. The
military of Garfunkia shall not advertise, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 312. Thou
shall openly speak of pornography, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 313. Thou
shall recognize Terry David as the holy programmer, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 314. Thou
shall recognize one’s own mental retardation, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 315. Thou
shall not speak of the ten Law gap, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 316. Thou
shall troll Venti on Roblox, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 317. Late
at night are the peak freak hours, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 318.
Introducing Yua Sakuya to everyone is Henry’s only contribution to society, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 319.
Garfunkel is epic, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 320. Thou
shalt be allowed to keep thy prayers short during a non-regular prayer, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 321. Thou
shall recognize The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, as a holy game, and as being a
human representation of heaven, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 322. Thou
shall not practice an ideology that promotes aggression, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 323.
Christians are thy brothers in faith, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 324. Thou
shall recognize Tintin as the holy reporter, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 325. Thou
shall be free to use gender-neutral “he”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 326. Thou
shall not use singular “they”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 327. Thou
shall respect Paw Wah and her heirs, for they will save humanity from the
darkness, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 328. Thou
shall not fuck dogs or love dogs, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 329. Thou
shall not use Reddit speak, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 330. Thou
shall not prefer Skyrim to Oblivion, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 331. The
military of Garfunkia shall not advertise, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 332. Thou
shall recognize the 3DS and DS as Garfunkel’s holy handhelds, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 333. Thou
shall recognize Professor Layton as Garfunkel’s holy professor, and his
sidekick, Luke, as his assistant, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 334. Thou
shall not go to Brazil, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 335. American
is a separate language from English, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 336. Nigger,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 337. Thou shall not claim to be fluent in Spanish
after passing an audio test, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 338. Thou
shall only listen to Scarce for YouTube news, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 339.
FЯED: THE MOVIE, and FЯED 3: CAMP FRED are holy movies, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 340. Thou
shall not watch “Fred 2”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 341. Thou
shall recognize Alvin and the Chipmunks as Garfunkian rock, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 342. Death
Rattle: Man's last moments in the flesh... Soul/spirit ascends as an orb of
light…, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 343. Mr.
Goes, Johnny Land, Ms. Anderson, and Mr. Lathrom are holy teachers and shall
not be disrespected, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 344. Thou
shall not marry, or have sexual intercourse with an ape or any other non-human
animal, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 345. St.
Louis is Sodom, and Chrisman is Gomorrah, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 346. The Grand
Prince shall have the power to venerate individuals as saints, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 347. Babar
is a holy elephant, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 348. Thou
shall hate Kansas, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 349.
Hardee’s is Garfunkel’s holy restaurant, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 350. Thou
shall not signal one’s own virtue, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 351. Thou
shall be humble, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 352. Thou
shalt not participate in “black culture”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 353. Thou
shall not concern thyself with worldly politics, for thou may rest easy with
the knowledge of thy salvation in Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 354. MSN
may be considered a reliable source, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 355. Thou
shall not get caught up in Churchly politics, for Garfunkel is thine only king,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 356. The
children of Garfunkel shall not fight amongst each other, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 357. Those
excommunicated are still considered children of Garfunkel, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 358.
Braybray shall be remembered as the great betrayer, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 359. Thou
shall not listen to Kpop, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 360. The
entire Korean population is barred from ever participating in the Church, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 361. 362. Thou
shall be honest towards thy fellow children of Garfunkel, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 363. 364. Thou
shall not speak fondly of preteens, and shall not dignify their “hobbies” such
as “Gacha Life” or “Fortnite”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 365. Qubo
is a holy TV channel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 366. Thou
shall prove thy racism on Gangweed regularly, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
367. Thou
shall respect Windows classic theme, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 368. The
only unallowed racism is racism towards Jeet, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 369. Thou
shall not “appeal” a ban once banned on a video game, Thou shall leave with
dignity and not return, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 370. Thou
shall not hold non-based opinions, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 371. Thou
shall use 12-point font when using Times New Roman, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 372. Thou
shall use VHS tapes or gold as currency, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 373. Thou
shall remember law 373, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 374. Thou
shall respect Joe Rogan and Alex Jones, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 375. Thou
shall not learn the language of Indonesian, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 376. Thou
shall not update one’s discord status to cringe, such as “day x of quarantine,
Persona 5 is my life.” for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 377. Thou
shalt not, in the game CK2, play in Africa, the Middle East, or India, for that
is the Law of Garfunkel. 378. Thou
shall not torture animals, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 379. Thou shall be allowed on Reddit if thou art niggering on faggots,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 380. Toy
Story 3: The Video Game is sacred territory, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 381. Thou
shall not go on Twitter, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 382. Thou
shall not become an English teacher, for ability in a language is best taught
through the reading of the language, not by the abstract lecturing of it, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 383. Thou
shall know that random does not equal funny, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 384. Thou
doth not need to play Minecraft 1.16, for it is pretty mediocre, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 385. Thou
shall not be gangster, unless the gang is the Garfunko family mob, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 386. Thou
shall play Pirates of the Caribbean Online at least once, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 387. Thou
shall not go to California, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 388. Thou
shall not be required to wash clothes often, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 389. Thou
shall not be shamed for nutting to photoshop, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 390. Thou
shalt not lick Doritos, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 391. Thou
shalt not disrespect Jeet, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 392. Thou
shalt not take the dogs out every two seconds, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 393. Thou
shall recognize VHS as a superior format to any digital format, and Betamax,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 394. Thou
shall not compare a fellow child of Garfunkel to Cooper Hobbs, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 395. Mr.
Tovar is a little man, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 396. Thou
shall understand that Rhett and Link is the holy youtube show, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 397. Thou
shall not wear t-shirts with cancer on them, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 398. Thou
shall not go to Arby’s, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 399. Thou
shall appreciate Ian’s screeching phone, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 400.
Jonah shall not show up online for more than a day in a row, and not more than
4 times in a year, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 401. Thou
shall not get angry when one says that Jesus broke his ligaments on the cross,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 402. Thou
shall watch Curious George once every 10 days, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 403. Thou
shall recognize Quick Knowledge as Garfunkel’s holy intellectual, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 404. Thou
shall not send thy kids into a racial jungle, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 405. Thou shall
recognize that a vast majority of Zach's opinions are garbage, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel 406. Thou
shall not play Minecraft Windows 10 edition, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 407.
Reading the Christian Bible is permitted, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 408. Thou
shall not fall susceptible to trends, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 409. Thou
shall only eat a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit if it is from Hardee’s, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 410. Thou
shall understand that high school debate is cancerous, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 411. Thou
shall use kanji over kana wherever possible, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 412. Thou
shall not watch “The Office”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 413. Thou
shall sing “Witch Doctor” by Alvin and the Chipmunks at least once a year, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 414. Thou
shall avoid Christian rock at all costs, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 415. Thou
shall shame Nickelodeon for their despicable version of Alvin and the
Chipmunks, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 416. Thou
shall not comment anything about Youtube recommendations on a Youtube video,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 417. Thou
shall not invite w*men into Gangweed, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 418. Thou
shalt not be nicknamed “Aubers”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 419. Those
who work at Chrisman will never enter the Kingdom of Garfunkel, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 420. This is not a funny number, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 421. Thou
shall not be mixed race, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 422.
Triplets born, the throne awaits, a seer warns of a deadly fate. Give up your
children, separate, bide your time, lie in wait, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 423.
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 424.
Skibbity bop mm dada, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 425. I'm
calling out from Scatland, I'm calling out from Scatman's world, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 426. Thou
shall not watch Youtube without headphones, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 427.
Provolone cheese is a god-tier cheese, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 428. Thou
shall not have sisters, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 429. I
don’t like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the friggin’ frogs
gay, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 430. The
Cog is the official animal of Garfunkia, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 431. Thou
shall not write creepypastas, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 432. Thou
shall not use god mode in video games, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 433. Thou
shall not prefer Lay’s Wavy to Ruffles, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 434. Thou
shall backtalk to non-holy teachers, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 435. Thou
shall have a Growth Mindset, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 436. Thou
shall not pull a “DAWSON,” for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 437. Thou
shall not even utter the word “zoophilia”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 438. Thou
shall not even utter the words “doing your mom”, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 439. Thou
shall not claim Pokemon is a violent game, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 440. Thou
shall not treat 8th graders like they are 3 years old, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 441. Thou
shall allow the use of the word “chick”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 442. 443. Thou
thou, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 444. Thou
shall not play video games with w*men, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 445. Thou
shall not have dms with w*men, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 446. Thou
shall not prefer crunchy Cheetos to puffy Cheetos. 447. Thou
must get at least 80% on the racism test to enter Gangweed, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 448. Thou
shall not watch f*male content creators, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 449. Thou
shall exile all non-racists out of Gangweed, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 450. W*men
shall be bullied on Gangweed until their departure, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 451. Hank
Hill shall say “I propaned”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 452. Thou
shall not use right align, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 453. Thou
shall not overly criticize or complain about kanji, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 454. Thou
shall censor any references to the gender opposite of male, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 455.
Portugal has been forgiven because they have created Andrew, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 456. Thou
shall not say “Poggers” or any variation thereof, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 457. Thou
shall not watch chess videos over Shogi videos, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 458. Thou
shall play Go, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 459. The
High Council shall not be a democracy, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 460.
“Teach us , from the baby nursery please Or after few days on the way , we will
be pulling our hair” – Quick Knowledge, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 461. Never
forget law 460, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 462. Never
forget law 461, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 463. Never
forget law 462, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 464. Never
forget law 463, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 465. Never
forget law 464, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 466. Thou
shall not be quirky for the sake of being quirky, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 467. Thou
shall not recognize South Sudan’s independence, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 468. Thou
may say the F-Words, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 469. Thou
shall achieve a spot in the JumpStart hall of fame upon thy death, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 470. Thou
shall treat the “libleft” with the utmost disrespect, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 471. Gary
Johnson is not a libertarian, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 472. Thou
shall not ignore thy grandmother, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 473. Thou
shall not commit blasphemy, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 474. Thou
shall not have Reddit installed on thy phone, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 475. Thou
shall not force thy fellow man to follow the Laws of Garfunkel; he shall follow
the Laws out of his genuine love and respect for Garfunkel, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 476. Thou
shall not speak of xQc, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 477. Thou
shall not go on Twitch, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 478. Thou
shall not play Raid: Shadow Legends, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 479. Thou
shall not play Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 480. 640
by 480 pixels is a holy resolution, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 481. Thou
shall recognize Super D as being the second best video game, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 482. Thou
shall not be a cynic, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 483. Thou
shall understand the meaning of law 186, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 484. Thou
shall not download Epic Games Launcher, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 485.
Curious George Bubblepop is the best video game, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 486.
Caillou does not deserve to live, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 487. Thou
shall only do racist Humorous Interps, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 488. Thou
shall prefer Flipnote Hatena to YouTube, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 489. Thou
shall not give presentations about the f*male ut*rus for a speech event, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 490. Tate
shall go missing, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 491. DMV
employees will not go to heaven, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 492. The
Holy Book of Garfunkel shall be orally transmitted from Garfunkel to the High
Council for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 493. Thou
shall respect Garfunkel’s messages, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 494. Thou may
disrespect the false gods of the heathens, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 495. If a
man goes to Ms. Pace’s room for enrichment expecting to find 8th graders, he
will be backhanded for his incompetence, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 496. Thou
shall not view pagans as thine enemies, but as
thy brothers, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 497. Thou
shall not enjoy Family Guy, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 498. Ian
shall make a mess with mustard at every lunch period, for that is the law of
Garfunkia. 499. Thou
shall not watch meme compilations, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 500.
Paw Wah will be the savior of mankind, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 501. Thou
shall not play a 9-minute J pop top 50 video on Rythm, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 502. “The
Wall” by Doug Walker is satirical, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 503. 504. Thou
shall have patience in Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 505. Thou
shall not speak of a quintillion dollar asteroid, for that is not how economics
works, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 506. Thou
shall not schedule YouTube live streams or videos for more than a day in the
future, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 507. Thou
shall not be named after the Gregorian month November, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 508. Thou
shall not edit thy comments unless thou is fixing grammatical or spelling
mistakes, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 509. Thou
shall not eat alone at a restaurant without looking at a phone or some other
distraction, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 510. Thou
shall not raid myfreecams.com, for it is a waste of time, unless it is Convert a
Sex Worker Day, for that is the law Garfunkel. 511. The
Princes of the High Council are the messengers of Garfunkel, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 512. Thou
shall not force anyone to believe in Garfunkel, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 513. Thou
shall follow Garfunkel's teachings out of genuine faith in Garfunkel, for that
is the Law of Garfunkel. 514. Thou
shall not name thy child a cringe name, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 515. “The
CIA niggers glow in the dark. You can see ‘em if you’re driving, you just run
them over, that’s what you do” – Terry Davis, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 516. Thou
shall not like Jack Black, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 517. Thou
have infinite willpower in Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 518. Thou
shall meditate in room 235, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 519. Thou
shall only use violence as a last resort, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 520. Thou
who practice aggression shall be punished severely in the afterlife, for that
is the Law of Garfunkel. 521.
Garfunkel is an understanding and forgiving God, if thou is earnest and
truthful in thine apology to Garfunkel, and to those thou have hurt, thou shall
be forgiven, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 522.
Garfunkel loves his children, which is why he has given his Earth to them, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 523.
Garfunkel gives his Laws to guide and protect his children, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 524. Thou
shall not speak of thineself in the third person, for only Garfunkel and George
Costanza may speak of themselves in that manner, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 525. Thou
shall not be a narcissist, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 526. The
Knights of Gangweed are Garfunkel’s missionaries, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 527. The
end does not justify the means used to reach that end, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 528.
Equality among man is a myth; those who hath set equality as a goal are either
retarded or have ulterior motives, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 529. Zach
is having a bit of a struggle right now, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 530. Thou
shall boycott acro-lash questions, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 531. Thou
shalt be based, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 532. Thou
shall not say “kek”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 533. 534. The
Green party shall not win an election, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 535.
Gunplay in the elevator, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 536. Man
cannot live on Alvin and the Chipmunks alone, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 537. There
is more to life than the Daily Wire and Garry’s Mod RP, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 538. Thou
shall not be corrected for typos, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 539. Thou
shall understand that young children are innocent and that any intentional harm
to them shall result in eternal suffering, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 540. Thou
shall not argue over things thou do not understand, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 541. HolyC
is Garfunkel’s holy programming language, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 542. C is
the second best programming language behind HolyC, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 543.
Asperger’s and down syndrome are unacceptable forms of retardation, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 544. Not
even the holiest of men are without mistakes, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 545.
Haggling is a perfectly legitimate practice and should be encouraged, for that
is the Law of Garfunkel. 546. 547. Thou
shall not wear masks to “prevent” viruses, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 548. Thou
shall not make assumptions when arguing with thy fellow man, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 549. Thou
shall not laugh; thou shall guffaw, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 550. Men
who like SpongeBob memes are the weakest of men, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 551. Terry
Davis’ burial site is a Garfunkian holy site, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 552. The judge may pick the court soundtrack, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 553. An idiot admires complexity; a genius admires
simplicity, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 554. Thou shall understand the “Worlds Theory”, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 555. Thou shall not digest ketchup, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 556. Only in desperation will thou drink hot, half empty
water bottles, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 557. No one is too far-gone to be saved by Garfunkel, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 558. Thou shall not whore thyself, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 559. Thou shall not ignore the message of Garfunkel, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 560. Thou shall only go on myfreecams.com to save souls by
spreading the message of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 561. Thou shall stand strong in the face of opposition to
Garfunkel’s will, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 562. Thou shall not forgive asianmelodies.com for keeping
Zhu Xiafeng and Ian apart, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 563. Thou shall understand the fight or flight response that
overcomes those with a weak mind who learn of Garfunkel, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 564. Terry A. Davis is High Priest of God’s official temple,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 565. Garfunkel is not overly particular, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 566. Thou shall not abuse acronyms or abbreviations, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 567. Thou shall not play Mahjong, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 568. Thou shall not even suggest any relation between
Garfunkel and “Art Garfunkel”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 569. Thou shalt not think Satanism is cool, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 570. Thou shalt remember the last day of every week as a
holy day, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 571. The Star Wars prequels were not bad movies, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 572. Thou shall recognize the nature of the beast, for that
is the Law of Garfunkel. 573. Thou shall despise the overly pretentious and complex
language of academic journals, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 574. Thou shall respect private property rights, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 575. Thou shall be able to pick a patron saint to watch over
thineself and thy dynasty which thou shall set as a divine example in thy life,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 576. The High Council must approve of
translations of the Holy Texts unanimously, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 577. Thou shall not underestimate Garfunkel or his
descendants, as they are omnipotent while they have faith in him, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel 578. Thou shall only watch Family Guy to educate thineself
on how not to be funny, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 579. The excommunicated shall not go to heaven, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 580. The High Council shall keep records on the excommunicated,
canonized, the Laws, the Holy Book of Garfunkel, and transcripts from High
Council meetings, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 581. The Nintendo Wii is the best video game console, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 582. Thou shall not sustain thy child with junk food, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 583. Overfeeding thy child is a form a child abuse, for that
is the Law of Garfunkel. 584. Thou shall not describe thineself as a “geek” or a
“nerd”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 585. Thou shall not reveal the identity of quwen, for that
is the Law of Garfunkel. 586. Impact font memes are the only acceptable memes, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 587. Thou shalt not like communism, the USSR, or any other
communist state even if done so ironically, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 588. Thou shall not consider thyself to be a “debunker” or a
“skeptic”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 589. There are only two races among humans, the normal race,
and the negroid people, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 590. Thou shalt not degrade simians by referring to the
negroid as a monkey or ape, or that is the Law of Garfunkel. 591. If thou go through the Laws of Garfunkel to “disprove”
the Laws, thou are retarded, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 592. Latin is an acceptable language, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 593. If an individual scores less than 24 on the von Luschan
chromatic scale, he is to be considered a member of the normal race, scoring a
24 or above places him as a member of the negroid race, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 594. Thou shall respect Western Culture, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 595. Thou shall not be based for the sake of being quirky,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 596. Thou shall refer to Shlok Sharma only using the
honorific “Shlok Sharma the Nigger”, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 597. Thou shall have hobbies other than just playing video
games, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 598. Thou shall not translate or print liturgical material
in the Korean language, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 599. Thou shall not resign like a fricker in go, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 600. Thou shall be principled in thy life, for that is
the Law of Garfunkel. 601. Thou
shall not describe thy fellow man as being “triggered”, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 602. A man
shall stand, not be kept standing by others, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 603. Thou
shall not visit the city of Los Angeles, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 604. A
member of the High Council shall be referred to officially as a Prince of Garfunkia, or collectively
as the Princes of Garfunkia, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 605. Thou
shall not overly concern thyself with thine outward identity, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 606. Thou shall not engage in theological debates
with the pagans, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 607. Thou
shall not be named “Ms. Black” if thee is not black, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 608.
Anything above 720p is unnecessary, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 609. Thou
shall never forgive 4chan for harassing Terry Davis, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 610. If
thy name is John or Brody, then thou shall be referred to by thy middle name,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel 611. Windows
Moviemaker is the only good video editing software, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 612. Thou shall not have sex before marriage, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 613. Monks shall practice asceticism, for that is the Law of
Garfunkel. 614. Thou shall not listen to English musicians, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 615. Ironic faggotry is worse than honest faggotry,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 616. The birth of Paw Wah shall signal the beginning
of a new epoch, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.
617. Greek and Latin are the scholarly languages of Garfunkia, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 618. Thou who cureth can maketh ill, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 619. A man’s soul is the holiest thing on earth, for
that is the Law of Garfunkel. 620. A short meaningful life is holier than a long
wasted life, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 621. Thou shall never forgive the Jews for
bastardizing Garfunkel’s Holy Name, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 622. Thou shall cremate the dead, for that is the
Law of Garfunkel. 623. Thou shall spread the ashes of the dead
throughout nature, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 624. Thou shall not under any circumstance keep the
ashes of the dead, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 625. Garfunkel cares not what you call him, so long
as it is in good taste, for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 626. Music is the purest spiritual force, for that
is the Law of Garfunkel. 627. Thou shall not live among degenerates, for
their sin shall devour your soul if given the opportunity, for that is the Law
of Garfunkel. 628. Thou shall keep the unwritten laws unspoken,
for that is the Law of Garfunkel. 629. Thou shall have Garfunkia Chat open in at least
one tab in thy web browser, for that is the Law of Garfunkel.