1. Thou shall not be named John for that is the law of Garfunkel.

2. Thou shalt not show affection for one of the same gender, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

3. Thy shall only be given one warning by Garfunkel, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

4. Thy shall be backhanded if thy breaks any law of Garfunkel, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

5. Thou shalt not prefer xbox or playstation over PC, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

6. Thou shalt not obsess over anything but Garfunkel, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

7. Traps are gay, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

8. Thou shalt not talk of dead memes, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

9. Thou shalt not be an annoyance to Garfunkel members, for that is the law of Garfunkel

10. Thou shalt respect women, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

11. Thy shall call upon Garfunkel through backhanding their palm, for that is the law of Garfunkel

12. Thou shalt thank Garfunkel for any food and/or water, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

13. Thy can call upon Garfunkel for guidance on whether a subject is homo or not, by exclaiming “Oops, you’re gay now.”, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

14. Thy shall pray for Garfunkel once every week, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

15. Thou shalt not drink under the age of twenty one, unless you are Chad for that is the law of Garfunkel.

16. Thy shall only be allowed to drink underaged if they are in the prescence of Garfunkel, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

17. Thou shalt not be named “Alex Ott” for it sounds like “Alex Thot”, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

18. Thy shall be excused from any law, if Garfunkel excuses it, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

19. Thy shall only use Comic Sans in religious documents, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

20. Thou shalt obey the Garfunkel Laws above any other laws, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

21. Thy shall never show affection to a Jock,or Thot, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

22. Thy shall take spoons, and napkins, for they are sacred, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

23. Garfunkel is the only one allowed to add, or remove privilege points, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

24. Only the weak, do not understand the laws of Garfunkel, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

25.Thou shalt not talk to the Excommunicated, For that is the law of Garfunkel.

26. Thou shall not speak of anime, for that is disgusting, and is against the law of Garfunkel, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

27. Thou shalt never spell Garfunkel wrong, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

28. Thou shall not use filters, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

29. Thou shalt not use snapchat, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

30.Thou shall not post Fortnite wins, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

31.Thou shalt not disrespect Minecraft hunger games, for that is the law of Garfunkel

32. Roblox is acceptable, when played in moderation, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

33.Thou shalt not claim that if the teacher is not back in fifteen minutes you can leave, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

34.Thou shall not mention dead memes of any kind, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

35. Thou shan't speak of Ugandan knuckles, as you will be smited immediately. For that is the law of Garfunkel.

36. Thou shall not talk of January memes, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

37. Thou shalt not have false idols, for that is the law of Garfunkel

38. Thou shall not talk of any cat memes, as you will be smited, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

39. Thou shall have the freedom of speech, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

40. Thou shalt have an open council in Garfunkia, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

41. Thou shall defend the faith, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

42.Thou shall never mock Garfunkel, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

43. Thou shall backhand, non-believers, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

44. Thou shall spread the faith, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

45. Thou shall know that dried fruit is still fruit, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

46. Thou shall never backhand believers, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

47. Thou shall know that nobody buys 47 bananas, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

48. Thou shall remember April 10th for it is independence day, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

49. Thou shall be liberated under Garfunkel, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

50. Thou shall have the right to an independent Garfunkia, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

51. Thou shall not skip MineCon, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

52.Thou shalt always Autistic Screech to Garfunkel at 6:02 Pm, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

53.Thou shalt play minecraft at least once a day, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

54. Thou shall play minecraft hunger games at least 16.5 hours a day, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

55. Thou shall not team during minecraft hunger games, for that is cheating, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

56. Thou shalt not like PUBG, for it is disrespectful to Minecraft  Hunger Games, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

57. Thou shall not use Garfunkel’s name in vain, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

58. Thou shalt not like the meme page Daquan, for that is the law of Garfunkel

59. Thou shall not watch Dan the Meme Man, for that is the law of Garfunkel

60. Thou shall not love another God before Garfunkel, for that is the law of Garfunkel

61. Thou shall give 25% of all goods (Spoons, Napkins) produced by oneself to the High Court in order to remain under the protection of Garfunkel, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

62. Thou shall not enjoy IFunny, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

63. Thou shall not watch behind the meme, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

64. Thou shall not hack in minecraft hunger games, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

65. Thou shall use spoons as a currency, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

66. Thou shall take as many napkins as you please, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

67. Thou shall only change laws for the better, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

68. Thou shall know when it’s time to stop, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

69. Thou shalt love this number, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

70. Thou shall obey Garfunkel above all else, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

71. Thou shall not love Ricegum, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

72. Thou shall not steal another man’s spoons, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

73. Thou shall not be a feminist, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

74. The court and citizens shall operate under the high court, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

75. Thou shall not call Edy “Edy Spaghetti”, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

76. Thou shalt get at least two spoons in the cafeteria to give one to the High Court, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

77. Thou shall end every law with “for that is the law of Garfunkel.” for that is the law of Garfunkel.

78. Thou shall request for something to be no homo by saying “No homo.” if Garfunkel accepts the request, you will be excused, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

79. Thou shall use proper grammar, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

80. High Council members don’t have to listen to demands of citizens, and the council, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

81. Thou shall not be weeaboo, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

82. Thou shall kiss a Thot, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

83. Ignore law 82 for that is the law of Garfunkel.

84. Thou shall wait two seconds before taking a sip from the water fountain, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

85. Thou shall not bite their pencils, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

86. Thou shall know every lyric to “Every Day Bro” but not be a Jake Pauler, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

87. Thou shalt always smell good, is that your boy’s cologne? For that is the law of Garfunkel.

88.  Anyone shall be eligible for High Council.

89. Thou shall not lick, eat, or digest currency, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

90. Thou shall not break currency, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

91. Thou shall know that George W. Bush did 9/11 for that is the law of Garfunkel.

92. Thou shall not spit on the ground, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

93. Thou shall not steal from McDonalds, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

94. Thou shall not question the sovereignty of the Garfunkian state, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

95. High council shall be allowed to excommunicate, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

96. Thou shall not call dogs “doggos” for that is the law of Garfunkel.

97. Thou shall not make ‘relatable’ memes, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

98. Thou shall not watch vines, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

99. Thou shall not claim strong men wear pink, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

100. High Council members are allowed to backhand other High council members if they are being homo, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

101. Thou shall not read books with “101” as a suffix, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

102. Thou shall claim they are “Garfunkian” not American, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

103. Thou shall respect their father, and mother, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

104. Thou shall obey all acts enacted by the high council, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

105. Thou shall not watch Romances, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

106. Thou shall not need to pull down both toilet seat lids when going pee, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

107. Thou shall not high five the excommunicated, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

108. Thou shall not associate with the excommunicated, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

109. Thou shall not brag, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

110. The high council shall respect the council, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

111.The council shall respect the High council, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

112.Thou shall use original comebacks, for that is a law of Garfunkel.

113. Thou shall not be politically correct, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

114. Thou shall watch every Filthy Frank music video, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

115. Thou shall report homos for excommunication, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

116. Thou shall report Chromosomians for excommunication, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

117. Thou shall report thots for excommunication, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

118. Thou shall report jocks for excommunication, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

119. Thou shall report illegal immigrants to the high council for backhanding, for

that is the law of Garfunkel.

120. Thou shall vow to kill every thot in the entire universe, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

121. If thy doesn’t pay taxes, thy shall be sent to the rice fields, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

122. Thou shall know all the lyrics to ‘Allstar’ by Smashmouth, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

123. Thou shall not backhand their palms if they are a non-believer, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

124. Thou shall not quote or sing Hamilton, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

125. Thou shall not make, share, repost, or post memes of the yodeling Walmart kid, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

126. Thou shall not tell Anthony jokes unironically, for that is the law of Garfunkel

127. Thou shalt not kill other people’s offspring, for that is the law of Garfunkel

128. Thou shall be allowed to abuse thy child, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

129. You shall ask Garfunkel for permission to have offspring, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

130. Ignore law 129 if thou had an offspring during one of Garfunkel’s parties, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

131. Thou shall be exiled from Garfunkia if the high council deems so, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

132. Thou shalt always end on even number, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

133. There shall only be 8 high council members, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

134. Every one shall be permitted, given, or self appointed a job, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

135. Thou shalt take it upon themselves to add to the laws of Garfunkel until we reach one thousand, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

136. Thou shall recognize one's position of power, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

137. Thou shall use “Nice One Genghis” and “Good One Khan” sarcastically, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

138. Thou shall play Bin Weevils, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

139. Thou shall know that Hitler did nothing wrong, and that Joseph Stalin was a great man, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

140. Thou shall backhand anyone who uses “Nice one Genghis”, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

141. Thou shall donate one dosh from Binweevils to the high council, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

142. Thou shall ignore law 130 if thou had an offspring during a Garfunkel party he already gave permission, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

143. Thou shall support net neutrality, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

144. Thou shall not be an uncultured swine, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

145. Thou shall watch Jacksfilms, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

146. Thou shall respect the Chad Broseph Thundercock, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

147. Thou shall watch “history of the entire world, i guess”, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

148. Thou shall acknowledge Chad Broseph Thundercock to be king of the frat boys, for that is the of Garfunkel.

149. Thou shall acknowledge that Chad Broseph Thundercock is the frattiest frat boy, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

150. Thou shall not eat Tide pods, for that is a dead meme, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

151. Thou shall respect copyright material, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

152. Thou shall never give John any credit for any memes, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

153. Thou shall use Time™, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

154. Thou shall not use “th” at the end of a word, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

155. Thou shall not pull a “LEGG”, for that is the law of Garfunkel.

156. Thou shall not speak of Alexander Hamilton, except in reference to this law, or any law about Alexander Hamilton for that is the law of Garfunkel.